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[MIS] NEWS AND INFORMATION – SUN 16TH JAN – SAT 22ND JAN ’00

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M.I.S ONLINE - NEWS AND INFORMATION - SUN 16TH JAN - SAT 22ND JAN '00
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ISSUE NUMBER 35         MIS ONLINE: http://www.jabba.demon.co.uk/mis/
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IN THIS ISSUE ...

1 - THE EDITOR SPEAKS - Latest news snippets and gossip.

2 - NUTTY SOUNDS FOR SALE 2000 - Complete & Utter Madness stock rare
    and not so rare Madness and Madness related merchandise. Most of
    the items are generally purchased by serious collectors and some
    items may have high price tags as they are rare in nature and of
    course the reason why they are collectable.

3 - MAD NOT MAD ISSUE 5 - Issue 5 of the Madness/ska-tinged fanzine
    has been released. Find out what's inside this cracking edition
    and why you should invest in a subscription.

4 - THE ONLY PLACE TO BE EVERY OTHER SATURDAY - The UEFA Champions
    League is Europe's biggest annual football competition. It
    begins next week, and this year a record four British teams
    have qualified - Chelsea, Arsenal, Manchester United and Rangers.
    However, there is some very sad news indeed for some season
    ticket holders, or at least some of those with the best seats.

5 - ONE STEP BEHIND MERCHANDISE - Want to capture some of the
    atmosphere of a `One Step Behind` gig in the comfort of your own
    home? Well, your luck is in as the band have a couple of items
    for sale which you really should think about adding to your
    collection.

6 - FIRST STEP BEYOND - A new Madness rarities CD is on the verge of
    release. MIS Online has been lucky enough to get hold of a
    pre-release of this new album, Find out if you should be saving
    up your readies or leaving it on the shelf in this track by
    track review.

7 - GET YOUR MADDEST SHOW ON EARTH GOODIES - Your chance to get hold
    of the merchandise from the recent batch of Madness concerts.

8 - GENTLEMEN, PLEASE... - Thank you's, closing words, next week.

[1] - THE EDITOR SPEAKS

A number of Madness fan-sites have closed their doors over the past
couple of months, so it's always nice when out of nowhere, one
appears. The latest person to try his hand at website creation is
none other than mad Scottie, Colin Galbraith with his `Magnificent
Seven` site. Colin tells us that `It's 100% Madness and 100%
Scottish`. You'll be wanting to point your web browsers over to:
http://www.geocities.com/themagnificentseven. Take a look and let him
know what you think.

Following on from last week's issue listing the Complete Madness up
and coming gigs, the band have been inundated with e-mails from all
you lot. The band are really appreciative of the fantastic response
and will attempt to reply to everyone who's mailed them in due
course.

Keeping on the subject of Complete Madness, and the band have asked
me to announce a small correction to one of their January dates. In
last week's bulletin it stated that the band would be playing `The
Litten Tree` in Victoria, London on Friday 28th, this should have
read, Thursday 27th Jan.

For more information regarding up and coming Complete and Utter
Madness dates, please get in touch with the band at:
Complete at management99.fsnet.co.uk

It's taken a while, but the ill-updated MIS Online website has
finally broken the 5000 hit barrier thanks to the elusive Mr. G.
"I was wondering if I get a prize for being the 5000th hitster to
your MIS Online website?". Of course you do! Your prize is to have
your name up there in ASCII!!! Some people will kill for that you
know!

As part of the excellent retro music series, `Top of the Pops 2`,
last Wednesday saw the lads appear in a piece of vintage footage
from way back in 1982. The BBC had decided to use the studio
version of `Our House` which had been taken from the Christmas
edition of the show. Regular viewers will know that during the course
of each video clip, a number of snippets of band-related info are
displayed at the bottom of the screen. One of these announced the
birthday of none other than a certain Mr G. McPherson.

Yes, on the 13th of January, Suggs gracefully grew one year older.
But that wasn't the only Madness birthday in January as a Mr. Cathal
Smyth celebrated his the day after.

Here's Total Madness Mailing List subscriber, Lisa Pearson to fill us
in;

      Quoting the Sydney Daily Telegraph Thursday January
      13th 2000, with a rather youngish looking photograph
      of the birthday boy.

      "Graham 'Suggs' McPherson Singer with the group Madness,
       born in Hastings, UK, in 1961. The band formed in 1978,
       and drew on the ska style of reggae before splitting up
       in 1986. Suggs became a comedy host in a London club
       and manages UK group The Farm"

       This is not the first time this has appeared in the
       Tele, however the description hasn't changed for a
       number of years. How long ago was the description actually
       the case?

       I'm thinking that whoever updates these things for News
       Ltd (part of the Murdoch conglomerate) needs a taste of
       the Madness publicity machine ... but wait, is there
       one???

       BTW I've never seen such a clipping for Chas Smash.

Many thanks to Lisa for the above.

Way back in 1986, Madness took part in Denmark's "Roskilde Festival"
where they played their set in the rain in front of thousands of
adoring fans. The bands for the 2000 festival are still be sorted
out, and one Danish Maddie, Johan Edgren has decided that Madness
MUST be persuaded to return. The organisers are currently compiling
all suggestions sent in and will attempt to contact any bands who
receive enough votes as a result of their internet poll. For more
information, point your browser at:
http://www.roskilde-festival.dk/2000/english/bands/

Onto video news now, and I've just been informed that during last
year's `Maddest Show on Earth` tour, a certain Mr. Lee Thompson
was out and about capturing video footage with the idea of uploading
it to the official website sometime this year. The film contains
footage of the tour, both on stage and behind the scenes. Footage of
the soundcheck at the Bournemouth gig has been shot, and a number of
fans were filmed by Lee holding banners which read "We want Lee for
our leader".

As soon as there's news of an upload date, we'll print it here.
Thanks go to Jerney for the info.

No sooner had I sent out last week's edition of the bulletin, I
realised that I'd forgotten to mention anything about Suggs'
appearance on the pilot showing of `A Question of Pop`. As you may
have guessed, it's a music quiz show which see's two teams pit their
wits against each other over a number of music trivia rounds. The
team leader for one of the teams was none other than the man himself,
Suggs who was teamed up with two other pop celebrities including the
kiddies teen-pop sensation, Billie. I didn't manage to catch hold of
the show myself, but reports I've had in from a number of people,
some Madness fans, some not were very promising indeed. The show will
be returning to UK shores in the spring, but it remains to be seen
if Suggs will be there too.

Thanks to Suzie Wilkins for jogging my memory!

And with that. Lets get straight into this weeks articles. We've got
absolutely loads to get through this week!

Enjoy!

Robert Hazelby (MIS Online Editor)

[2] - NUTTY SOUNDS FOR SALE 2000

Complete & Utter Madness stock rare and not so rare Madness and
Madness related merchandise. Most of the items are generally
purchased by serious collectors and some items may have high
price tags as they are rare in nature and of course the reason
why they are collectable. However like all of us who had to start
collecting once, there is no time like the present to become a
serious collector yourself and start your Madness collection right
here and now!

To purchase any of the following items e-mail : sales at nuttyboys.com
Our prices DO NOT include postage and packing to destination of
buyer.

------------------------------

(NEW) MADNESS - The Harder They Come
Go! Disc Records - GOLCD93 / UK / CD Limited Edition Single
Description : Rare Limited Purple Cover Edition featuring the hits
              Baggy Trousers, Grey day, Embarrassment Live!
Sales Price US$10 - M/M

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(NEW) SUGGS - The Lone Ranger
WEA Records - 0630-12478-2 / UK / CD Album
Description : Original Yellow Cover Edition.
Sales Price US$16 - M/M

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(USED) MADNESS - Michael Caine
Stiff Records - PBUY196 / UK / 7" Single Picture Disc
Description : Rare Original Picture Disc, featuring the guest vocals
              of Michael Caine.
Sales Price US$25 - M/M

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Yesterdays Men
Zarjazz Records - JAZZSD5 / UK / 7" Single Picture Disc
Description : Rare Limited Edition Double Single Pack incl It Must
              Be Love (LIVE) and Yesterdays Men - Harmonica Mix
Sales Price US$45 - M/M

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(USED) MADNESS - The Business
Virgin Records - MADBOX1 / UK / CD Album
Description : 3 CD Box Set featuring all the Hits with 'B' sides with
              additional interviews and bonus tracks.
Sales Price US$20 - VG/VG

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(USED) MADNESS - One Better Day
Stiff Records - BUY201 / UK / 7" Limited Edition Single
Description : Rare Limited Edition Fold Out Poster Sleeve.
Sales Price US$20 - M/M

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(USED) MADNESS - Driving In My Car
Stiff Records - PBUY153 / UK / 7" Single Picture Disc
Description : Rare Original Picture Disc
Sales Price US$25 - M/M

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(USED) MADNESS - Cardiac Arrest
Stiff Records - BUYDJ140 / UK / 7" PROMO Single
Description : Rare Promotional Release
Sales Price US$35 - M/M

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(USED) MADNESS - Our House
Stiff Records - BUYJB163 / UK / 7" Limited Edition Single
Description : Rare 7" Special Edition Our House Remix
Sales Price US$30 - M/M

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(USED) MADNESS - The Prince
Two Tone Records - CHSTT3 / UK / 7" Single
Description : Original 1979 release on plastic label and diecut
              company sleeve.
Sales Price US$10 - VG/EX

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(USED) MADNESS - Work Rest And Play EP
Stiff Records - BUY71 / UK / 7" Single
Description : Original 1980 release featuring Night Boat To Cairo,
              Deceives The Eye, The Young And The Old and Dont Quote
              Me On That.
Sales Price US$10 - EX/EX

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(USED) MADNESS - The Sun And The Rain
Stiff Records - BUY192 / UK / 7" Single
Description : Original 1983 hardcard sleeve release.
Sales Price US$10 - EX/EX

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(NEW) SUGGS - The Tune
WEA Records - WEA031CDDJ / UK / CD PROMO Single
Description : Rare PROMO CD single written by Mike Barson (Madness)
              Mixed by Sly & Robbie
Sales Price US$20 - EX/EX

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(NEW) MADNESS - The Prince (Full Version)
Virgin Records - MADJ98 / UK / 12" VINYL PROMO
Description : Rare 1998 PROMO 12" Madness vs. WubbleU. Featuring
              remixed versions of The Prince (Full Dub) and The
              Prince (Full No Dub) North vs. South
Sales Price US$20 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) SUGGS - The Tune
WEA Records - WEA031 / UK / 7" Single
Description : Rare original 7" single written by Mike Barson
              (Madness) Mixed by Sly & Robbie in hard glossy sleeve
Sales Price US$12 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) CRUNCH! - It's OK, I'm A Policeman
Nils Satis Records - NIL 0037 / UK / 7" Single
Description : Rare 7" single released 1992 in original hard glossy
              sleeve. B/W Fight Amongst Yourselves.
Sales Price US$15 - M/M

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - 1986 Calendar
Danilo Promotions Ltd - / UK / Calendar
Description : Rare 1986 Madness calendar. 12 full colour pages of
              exclusive never seen before pictures including noted
              birthdays.
Sales Price US$25 - EX

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Cardiac Arrest
Stiff Records - BUYIT140 / UK / 12" Single
Description : Rare Extended 12" Version of Cardiac Arrest including
              'In The City' used for the Japanese Honda City
              promotion. Slight mark on rear of cover.
Sales Price US$10 - EX/G

------------------------------

(NEW) CRUNCH! - Magic Carpet
Magic Carpet Records - MCRCS001 / UK / CD Single
Description : Printed in limited numbers this rare 4 track CD Single
              includes previously unreleased tracks including Danger
              Zone, Hereditary and Magic Carpet {Live}
Sales Price US$20 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) MADNESS - It's Madness (second edition)
Virgin Records - CDVIP228 / UK / CD Album
Description : This compilation was previously available with the
              same title and track listing. The artwork has been
              changed so that it now truly represents and totally
              complements the high quality of the music. Includes
              House Of Fun, Wings Of A Dove, Baggy Trousers and Grey
              Day.
Sales Price US$18 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) MADNESS - Universal Madness Promotional Poster
Goldenvoice - / USA / Poster
Description : Promotional Sales Poster for the 1999 LIVE album
              'Universal Madness'.
Sales Price US$15 - M

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - The Return Of The Los Palmas 7
Stiff Records - BUY108 / UK / 7" Single
Description : Original hard card cover. The cover is the comix style
              featuring Madness as the Nutty Boys. B/w That's the way
              to do it.
Sales Price US$6 - EX/G

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Grey Day
Stiff Records - BUY112 / UK / 7" Single
Description : Original hard card cover. This single features the
              vinyl label of Lee Thompsons foot. B/w Memories. Cover
              is a little worn.
Sales Price US$6 - EX/G

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Grey Day
Stiff Records - BUYIT112 / UK / 12" Single
Description : Extremely RARE undocumented 12" Single featuring One
              Step Beyond (Spanish), Baggy Trousers, Grey Day and
              Take It Or Leave It. Lyrics on back of cover.
Sales Price US$50 - EX/EX

------------------------------

(USED) THE FINK BROTHERS - Mutants In Mega City One
Zarjazz Records - JAZZ 2-12 / UK / 12" Single
Description : Suggs and Chas Smash together for this one off
              partnership as the Fink Brothers. Small mark on cover.
Sales Price US$15 - EX/EX

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Uncle Sam
Zarjazz Records - JAZZ 7-12 / UK / 12" Single
Description : This features the excellent remix of Uncle Sam and
              includes the very special bonus track Uncle Sam eight
              track DEMO recorded at home and sung by Lee Thompson.
              Sticker on cover.
Sales Price US$8.5 - EX/G

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Waiting for the Ghost Train
Zarjazz Records - JAZZ 9-12 / UK / 12" Single
Description : The final farewell, and the last single from Madness.
              Features the Excellent mega mix 'Seven Year Scratch'
              and Maybe In Another Life.
Sales Price US$15 - EX/EX

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Sweetest Girl
Zarjazz Records - JAZZ 8-12 / UK / 12" Single
Description : Hard to find 12" single, includes two exclusive
              remixes Sweetest Girl (Dub Mix) and Sweetest Girl
              (Extended Mix).
Sales Price US$15 - EX/EX

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Keep Moving
Geffen Records - GHS4022 / US / Vinyl LP
Description : Rare 1984 US Promotional Album, includes Wings Of A
              Dove and The Sun and the Rain.
Sales Price US$25 - EX/EX

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - House Of Fun
Victor / Stiff Records - VIPX-1643 / JP / 7" Single
Description : ULTRA RARE Japanese 7" Single. Original sleeve and
              diecut. Never played B/w Cardiac Arrest.
Sales Price US$50 - M/M

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - It Must Be Love
Victor / Stiff Records - VIPX-1730 / JP / 7" Single
Description : ULTRA RARE Japanese 7" Single. Original sleeve and
              diecut. Never played B/w Tomorrow's Just Another Day
Sales Price US$50 - M/M

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - Un Paso Adelante (One Step Beyond)
Stiff Records - MO1922 / SP / 7" Single
Description : RARE 1980 Spanish 7" Single featuring Un Paso Adelante
              (One Step Beyond) sung by Chas Smash in Spanish B/w
              Mistakes (Errors)
Sales Price US$35 - M/VG

------------------------------

(USED) MADNESS - In The Zone Radio Concert Broadcast CD
Westwood One - SHOW #97-45 / US / CD Album
Description : MEGA RARE Promotional Concert Broadcast from Nov 3
              1997, including House Of Fun, My Girl, Our House,
              One Step Beyond + more. DJ broadcast sheet included.
Sales Price US$65 - EX/EX

------------------------------

(NEW) MADNESS - Lovestruck (Pt 1)
Virgin Records - VSCDT1737 / UK / CD Single
Description : Features the top ten single Lovestruck B/w Round And
              Round. Also has bonus track 'Maddely' which is a
              megamix of the new album 'Wonderful' and includes the
              following tracks: Elysium, Johnny the Horse, Wizard,
              Drip Fed Fred, 4AM, Going to the Top, Wonderful, The
              Communicator, Saturday Night, Sunday Morning.
Sales Price US$10 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) MADNESS - Lovestruck (Pt 2)
Virgin Records - VSCDG1737 / UK / CD Single
Description : Features the top ten single Lovestruck B/w We Are
              Love. Includes bonus Video. The video begins with film
              of the lads in a Laundry and moves on to photo shoots
              on the dreadful rainy day last April when taking
              pictures for the new Album. It moves on to a film of
              the guys on a Double Decker Bus and then to Camden Town
              Tube station and even follows them on the train
              itself. The movie then goes across the Atlantic to
              footage of the US Tour this May. Excerpts from Late
              Night with Letterman and the one of the shows.
Sales Price US$10 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) MADNESS - Wonderful
Virgin Records - CDV2889 / UK / CD Album
Description : EXTREMELY RARE Promotional Gold CD-R Acetate for the
              new 1999 album Wonderful, includes custom sleeve with
              track listing and copyright information.
Sales Price US$65 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) CRUNCH! - It's OK, I'm A Policeman
P&C Nils Satis Records - NIL00312 / UK / 12" Single
Description : VERY RARE 12" single released 1992 in original hard
              glossy sleeve. Including original b-side Fight Amongst
              Yourselves and bonus track Birthday Girl
Sales Price US$25 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) CRUNCH! - Magic Carpet
Magic Carpet Records - MCRT001 / UK / 12" Single
Description : Printed in very limited numbers this rare 4 track 12"
              Single includes previously unreleased tracks including
              Danger Zone, Hereditary and Magic Carpet {Remix}
Sales Price US$25 - M/M

------------------------------

(NEW) MADNESS - Wonderful [IMPORT]
Virgin Records - CDV2889 / UK / CD Album
Description : Dubbed as 'eleven tracks of ordinary magic',
              Wonderful, the first album from Madness in fifteen
              years, is anything but ordinary. Anyone who remembers
              the Madness heyday of the mid-80s with the same
              fondness and warmth as I do will revel in the chance
              to rejoin the original seven members of the band as
              they pick up from virtually where they left off.
              That's right - from the moment you press play you'll
              be in absolutely no doubt that this is the real McCoy,
              not some band who have half-heartedly returned from
              the dead in a pale imitation of their former glory.
Sales Price US$25 - M/M

Have fun, stay safe and be nutty!!
Complete and Utter Madness
http://www.nuttyboys.com

[3] - MAD NOT MAD ISSUE 5

As a large number of you know, `Mad Not Mad`, although mainly Madness
based, does also contain coverage of the current ska scene as a
whole. If you're only interested in Madness, don't let this put you
off, there's more than enough coverage of our boys in there, and you
never know, you might find the `zine helps to broaden your musical
horizons  somewhat!

"It's got a bit of a patchwork feel to it" muses Ian Taylor (the MNM
editor in chef) as he runs through this edition's intro in the
regular `Sez Ian` spot.

Has it? I think the lad's being too critical as I think this issue is
darn fine, so Ian, if you're reading this, "Stop worrying!"

The intro to this issue spans a whopping two pages, and with all the
Madness related antics that have been going on since issue four, he's
to be commended for keeping the intro chat so brief!

Rummaging through a few pages and you stumble across Ian's review of
the `Johnny The Horse` two part single set (as printed in last week's
Bulletin), where we're given a track by track breakdown of each disc.
Moving on and the music reviews continue with an absolutely huge
review of the fantastic `Wonderful`. This is of course, essential
reading! "Wonderful is everything I could have hoped for" says Ian.
Who are we to disagree?

Vincent Carden eh?, a chap who gets everywhere, Nut Inc, MIS Online
and now Mad Not Mad. Yes, like the other two publications, Ian Taylor
gives issue 2 of `Madness Unsugged` a thorough going over and tells
us that "The Boy's done good...the Irish connection looks to be in
safe hands".

Moving on, and it's the turn of Jim Neil from Belfast to provide MNM
readers with his list of ten Madness classics in `Big 10`. Want to
let everyone know your favourite Madness and/or ska tracks? Get
submitting your list!

Further into MNM and Ian takes us all on a walk down memory lane with
`Classic Albums Number 4`, this issue see's the legendary `Complete
Madness` from 1982 come under the spotlight. I can tell you know,
it's worth getting hold of a copy of the zine just for this. The
only other person I know who could describe an album in this much
depth is the almighty Vince Foley!

Throughout the `zine, there's a whole slew of ska-tinged goodness,
from a cracking review of last year's Bad Manners/Mistakes/The Riffs/
Expression gig at the Dacorum Pavillion in Hemel Hempstead by Tooting
Jo (who some of you out there know), album reviews, and an absolutely
superb interview with ska-band, `Spunge` who Ian and other-half Lisa
seem to be on very good terms with.

Couple all of the above up with an excellent rundown of fanzines in
`Zine Machines` (where a certain `Ska-Mad` gets a great review),
latest news snippets in `Currant Bun`, plus so much more, and you
can only realise that when you get hold of a copy of MNM, it's
money spent very wisely indeed!

"Has Woody co-written the greatest Madness song ever?". Better do
what Ian suggests and check out the `Wonderful` review.

For more information, feel free to e-mail Ian Taylor at:
bige at supanet.com

Or write to him at:

     Mad Not Mad,
     Nutty Towers,
     4 Mountmorres Close,
     Over Hulton,
     Bolton,
     BL5 1HT
     ENGLAND

Alternatively, check out the fanzines section of the MIS Online
site at: http://www.jabba.demon.co.uk/mis/

Many thanks to Ian for supplying the review copy.

[4] - THE ONLY PLACE TO BE EVERY OTHER SATURDAY...

The UEFA Champions League is Europe's biggest annual football
competition.

It begins next week, and this year a record four British teams have
qualified - Chelsea, Arsenal, Manchester United and Rangers.

However, there is some very sad news indeed for some season ticket
holders, or at least some of those with the best seats. Caron Head,
from Maldon in Essex, is football mad. She is a lifelong supporter
of Chelsea, and has an annual season ticket for the Stamford Bridge
ground. It cost her £645.

The season ticket guarantees admission to all of Chelsea's home
league matches. It also provides priority booking if you want to buy
tickets for their European games. It also means you have your own
special seat reserved, year in, year out.

Caron Head explains:
     "I've been sitting in this particular seat for 4 or 5
      years now. I like it because it's on the half way
      line. You get a good view of the game. You can actually
      see the whole pitch. And there are other season tickets
      holders surrounding me and you get to see the same
      people week in week out. We are the loyal supporters,
      through wet and dry weather, absolutely freezing cold
      in winter, through thick and thin, whether Chelsea are
      playing good or bad, we're there."

This year, however, has been a good one for Chelsea. For the first
time ever they have qualified for the UEFA Champions League. Chelsea
have guaranteed home matches against some of the biggest names in
European football, including AC Milan.

One month before kick off, Caron Head received a letter from Chelsea.
It read:

     "Dear Season Ticket Holder.....Due to UEFA requirements,
      I regret that you will not be able to sit in your normal
      seat."

These requirements demand that 250 free tickets are set aside for
every Champions League match in the best part of the ground, with a
further 50 in the VIP area.

It is tough if clubs don't agree, as it's one of the conditions for
entering the Champions League. So who gets the good views? 5 out of
the 250 tickets are for the men in suits from UEFA. The rest are
divided between suppliers, broadcasters and the eight sponsors. They
may not all be diehard football fans.

This means that next Tuesday UEFA and these companies have access to
2400 free match tickets to games in Stockholm, Oporto, Rotterdam,
Marseille, Kiev, Leverkusen, Florence and Manchester (even though
they're all being played at the same time). On Wednesday, there are
another 8 matches and so another 2400 free tickets. As the seats
have to be in the best part of the stadium, it means hundreds of
loyal season ticket holders at Manchester United, Rangers and Chelsea
have to move to inferior seats. Depending on which stage the
tournament is at, the sponsors also have an option to buy between
500 - 1000 extra tickets.

The fans aren't happy, and that includes one famous Chelsea supporter
Suggs, lead singer of Madness. Suggs says:

     "As a season ticket holder myself, I think it's very unfair
      that people from UEFA can be turfing out people at
      Chelsea who've been going possibly for generations.
      And you know that a lot of these people aren't interested
      in Chelsea, how can they be, they're not Chelsea fans,
      and probably will never come to Stamford Bridge again. I
      must say I haven't looked at my seat yet. I hope I'm in
      my right seat."

UEFA have laid claim to the same number of tickets for each of the
156 Champions League matches before the final. That totals 46,800
tickets to UEFA and their sponsors. There is also the option for the
sponsors to buy a further 80,800 tickets at face value - enough
seats to more than fill Wembley stadium.

So just what does UEFA do with all those tickets? We were told that
the free tickets amount to just 0.5 per cent of the total available.
Further to this, because sponsors pay 800m Swiss Francs, they are
entitled to their seats. UEFA also point out that a season ticket
is no guarantee of tickets for Champions League matches.

Many thanks to Steve Bringe for rooting out the above.

[5] - ONE STEP BEHIND MERCHANDISE

Want to capture some of the atmosphere of a `One Step Behind` gig in
the comfort of your own home? Well, your luck is in as the band have
a couple of items for sale which you really should think about
adding to your collection.

1)  "ABSOLUTELY BOTH - One Step Behind"   16 track CD featuring the
     band live at JB's in Dudley. Includes self penned track "Market
     Trader" and special bonus track.
     Send cheques for 8 pounds to MM Management, 8 Limecroft,
     Yateley, Hants, GU46 6ND. Please allow 14 days for delivery.

2) "JUDGE DREAD with ONE STEP BEHIND". Tape only. Bootleg rarity,
    featuring the late, great, Judge Dread's appearance as a special
    guest with OSB at a Bedford theatre in 1997, shortly before his
    sad death. Desk mix of 6 tracks "Rudi,  A Message To You", "Big
    Six", Bix Seven", "Big Eight", "On The Beach" and "Dread Rock".
    Send cheque for 5 pounds to MM Management, 8 Limecroft, Yateley,
    Hants, GU46 6ND. Please allow 14 days for delivery.

The second item should be of particular interest to you ska fans out
there as there is only one master copy of that show in existence.

For more information, please e-mail your enquiries to:
South at trident-surrey.demon.co.uk

Many thanks to Brendan Phipps for the info.

[6] - FIRST STEP BEYOND

Towards the end of the Summer an e-mail arrived in my mailbox from a
chap by the name of Georgie; "Robert, we're currently putting
together a Madness rarities CD. Would you be interested in reviewing
a copy for us?"

Naturally I jumped at the chance and swiftly mailed him back. Nothing
was heard from Georgie until last week when he got back in touch with
me to let me know that the CD was now ready and could he have my
address to send me on a copy.

The CD arrived on my doormat a few days back and since then it's
hardly been out of the old CD player.

>From the first few seconds of the opening track to the last few bars
of the final one, this is a CD that oozes top class audio quality and
almost seamless joining of tracks.

`Ok, we know it sounds good` you're saying `but what's on the disc`.
So without further ado, here's a rundown of the Madness track by
track...

First up is the Richard Skinner jingle where we have Suggs and Carl
wishing all the radio listeners a merry Christmas and a happy new
year whilst `Our House` plays away in the background. Very short,
but quite amusing as you can hear Richard, Suggs and Carl planning
what they're going to say before they go live.

Moving out of the studio, and we go over to the Radio 1 Roadshow for
a live performance which sounds nothing short of superb. Here, we're
treated to `Madness' only live performance of the year` with the
classic Madness, Take it or Leave it, Grey Day (note the excellent
hammond and sax solos towards the end), House of Fun, the school
memories of Baggy Trousers and the legendary One Step Beyond. As
always, the crowd go completely bonkers, as they rightly should -
it's a cracking live performance from the boys.

"Steve Wright, he's alright, he's alright" well, so say Madness in
this bizarre jingle for the legendary Radio 1 DJ. Listen out for a
strange mix of high and low voice samples coupled with lots of
laughter!

"It's rollin', it's rollin' Mike` shouts Suggs at the start of the
studio demo of the classic Rise and Fall track, `Sign of the Times`.
By the sounds of things, this is an early demo of the track, complete
with Suggs missing words and replacing them with strange babbling
noises. Mike stops, `Come on`, he says before continuing the tune.
"That's it, it's in the bag" announces Suggs
"Can we sing it normal?" asks Mike

Next up is the Madness version of `Listen to your Father`. Suggs
sits this one out as the almighty Carl takes control of the vocals.
Like the Feargal Sharkey version of the tune, it's a rather upbeat
number. Check out some classic guitar work from the master, Mr.
Chris Foreman whilst Woody gives the drumkit a real pounding
throughout!

Time for some unusual Russian accents now in the Mike Aspel jingle
with a very strange version of `We wish you a merry Christmas` from
the bottom of a nuclear submarine! Most unusual!!

The classic `It Must be Love` follows next. This alternative version
features a heavier bassline and a funky brass arrangement at various
intervals. The differences between the single release aren't too
noticeable, but listen out for Lee's Sax solo, pure class!

The Mike Allen jingle has to be one of the more unusual jingles on
the disc. Not really a tune, but a brief conversation during `A
chance meeting`. Time for more synthesised voices and general
weirdness.

`Do Nothing Donald` is a very basic home demo. With Carl on vocals
and old Mike on an old piano. A very nice tune indeed. One item
worthy of note is the whistled instrumental part. This would have
made a lovely b-side.

House of fun sounds very different to the original single release.
One thing that hits you right away is the removal of the brass and
electric guitar of Chris. Here we're almost down to the bare bones
with Mike on keyboard, Bedders on Bass, Woody on drums and Suggs
singing in the background. Bedders bass playing really shines through
on this one.

Onto lots of echoes now with the John Sachs jingle. `John Sachs, he
pulls records from the racks". Well, that's what the song says!

Another early recording now and it's the legendary `My Girl` with a
truly wonderful piano intro of which the only other place I heard
this is at the early 80's concerts. Slightly slower than the classic
single release. This provides us with a rare opportunity to get a
better chance to hear just how complex the piano solo is!

"Is this the temple?"
"No, this is Capital Radio, the temple is down the road"
and so Madness break into song with `On the good ship Capital`.
I wonder if this would see the light of day in todays politically
correct generation? Have a listen and you'll understand what I
mean!

How about this for a fantastic twist on a great track. The almost
lyric free single version of `Los Palmos` is replaced with lots
of chatting, singing and general daftness. If you're feeling down,
this is the track for you.
"I'd like you to understand, I'd like you to take my hand"
"Thank you Tommy"

Sounding like something which should have featured on either One
Step Beyond or Absolutely is the bloody brilliant `My Mums Roses`.
A really upbeat track with a great `get-up-and-go` feel to it. Carl
brings the lyrics of the song across beautifully with some great
singing/shouting. Couple this with some cracking piano, drum and
guitar work and you will soon agree with me that this NEEDS to be
released to the general public. Contact your MP now, this is
vintage Madness at its best!

Next up is the Charlie Gillet jingle. Not much to say about this one
really. Someone saying `Charlie Gillet` in the background whilst `Our
House` plonks away in the background.

Madness is all in the mind (live in Hamburg) sounds like the lads are
playing in some seedy club, and it sounds blumming brilliant. You can
almost picture the smokey atmosphere and the dark shadows.

Another early demo now, and Carl is back on vocals once more with the
classic `Time`. This is a track at its most basic with some simple
piano playing and a hint of female backing vocals for harmony. If you
want to see what a Madness track sounds like at an early stage before
other instruments are brought in, I am sure that this will give you a
good idea.

Tomorrow's Just Another Day is next in this alternative to the early
80's single release. Check out the different piano arrangement, intro,
and funky chorus line. One thing to note is the omission of Lee's sax
solo (what a crime) and some basic lyric changes towards the latter
part of the tune.

The famous John Peel gets the jingle treatment from Madness in this
short Scottish and Irish tinged track. Apparently they're happy!!

Earlier, we had the early demo of My Girl, now we have the same
track but with a mystery singer! I think it's Mike or Chris, but
can't be certain. Anoraks out there will no doubt know. An unusual
piano arrangement is featured in the middle 8 and some god-awful
singing is featured throughout. Apologies to whoever it was singing!

More live Madness now as we take a trip over to the Hollywood Bowl
for some Stateside versions of Madness and Night Boat to Cairo. These
two tracks are the last of the live set that evening and both Carl
and Suggs sound shattered!

Finally we're treated to an electronic intro to `Michael Caine`
sounding more Jean Michel Jarre than Madness. Excellent stuff and
very haunting.

The full track listing is as follows...

1  Richard Skinner Jingle
2  Radio 1 Roadshow (live) - Madness, Take it or Leave it, Grey Day,
                             House of Fun, Baggy Trousers, One Step
                             Beyond
3  Steve Wright Jingle
4  Sign of The Times (Studio Demo)
5  Listen to Your Father (Madness Version)
6  Mike Aspel Jingle
7  It Must be Love (Alt Version)
8  Mike Allen Jingle
9  Donald (Home Demo)
10 House of Fun (Alt Version)
11 John Sachs Jingle
12 My Girl (Early Demo)
13 Kelly Temple Jingle
14 Los Palmos 7 (Alt Version)
15 My Mum's Roses
16 Charlie Gillet Jingle
17 Madness is all in The Mind (Live Hamburg)
18 Time (Home Demo)
19 Tomorrow's Just Another Day (Alt Version)
20 John Peel Jingle
21 My Girl (Mystery Singer)
22 Madness/Night Boat to Cairo (Live Hollywood Bowl)
23 Michael Caine (Woodys)

"You've been raving about this CD and it sounds fantastic. Is there
anything you don't like about it?" you're probably thinking. Well,
if I had to give the disc one negative point, and it's the only one
I can think of, is the track index. Whilst above you have 23 tracks
all listed, on the actual CD itself, you get a mere 2 tracks.

What this means is if you want to jump to a track, you have to fast
forward manually all the way to that track. It's a little niggle,
but one that doesn't detract from the overall feeling that this is
one heck of a rarities CD. I don't know where or how Georgie has
managed to get hold of these tracks, but it was well worth his
efforts to bring them to the masses.

The CD is strictly limited to 1000 copies, and I am told that there
will be no re-runs once the batch runs out. Georgie is currently
toying with the idea of hard-numbering each CD, but this has yet to
be decided upon. I have also been informed that there will most
likely be a discount for bulk orders, but a final selling price has
yet to be confirmed.

As soon as more information is available, we'll be posting it here.
In the meantime, if you need further information regarding this
superb release, please drop Georgie and e-mail at:
dance at nijinski.com

This is one Madness CD you do not want to miss out on!!

Many thanks to Georgie for supplying MIS Online with a preview copy
for review purposes.

[7] - GET YOUR MADDEST SHOW ON EARTH GOODIES

I've had a few e-mails over the past few weeks from people who went
along to the Maddest Show on Earth tour, bought a few items of
merchandise, but for one reason or another, couldn't get hold of
everything they wanted.

Some others out there weren't able to get along to any of the shows
at all, but quite rightly you also want to get your hands on the bits
and pieces that the rest of us picked up.

Well, fear not. This now looks to be possible. Thanks to a certain
Mr. Mark Bedford, we have the contact details for `Winterland`, the
company who produced all the merchandise for the last tour.

WINTERLAND
20 CHURCH STREET
ISLEWORTH
MIDDX
TW7 6XB
TEL: 44 020 8568 6400
FAX: 44 020 8568 6304

Please write, phone or fax Winterland for details of availability and
pricing. I'm sure there are a large number of people out there who
would be interested to know what's still available, so if you manage
to get hold of any details, please let the rest of us know.

Many thanks to Bedders for the info.

[8] - GENTLEMEN, PLEASE ....

That's yer lot for another week. Hope you found something to interest
or inspire you.

A great many thanks to everyone who contributed to this edition of
the bulletin. I think this must surely have been the issue which has
had the most contributions from subscribers, please don't stop now!

Thank you to Georgie for the review copy of `First Step Beyond`, and
also to Ian Taylor for the review copy of `Mad Not Mad`.

Last week I promised a review of issue 3 of `Madness Unsugged`. I
have just received an e-mail from Vince Carden, the editor, who tells
me that there was a slight delay in getting the issue completed, but
the review copy should be sent my way within the next couple of days.
This should mean that next issue will hopefully feature a full
review of the fanzine.

Until next week. Take care, and if you have anything of interest,
please send it in.

All the nutty best,
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