IN THIS ISSUE ...

1 - THE EDITOR WRITES - This weeks news and information in brief.

2 - WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH - I know a number of you picked up
    tickets for the forthcoming Crunch gig during last Friday's
    Madmeet in Camden Town, but for those of you still trying to get
    hold of a ticket or two your search can be made that bit simpler.

3 - RHYTHMSTOCK AWARDS - It seems to be part of a tradition which
    states that you can't have a mailing list Madmeet without
    finishing things off with the run-down of awards. Not wanting to
    break with the rules and regulations Vince Carden is here with
    his `Rhythmstock Awards`...

4 - CYBERNEWS FROM VIP - Rob Lythall returns with the latest round
    up of news and record fair dates for the next few month courtesy
    of VIP Events.

5 - MISSING BIDDERS - In all the speed and tension of the Ian Dury /
    Madness auction a few weeks back the writing down of who paid
    for what seemed to go out the window slightly. Simsey reports.

6 - THE BIGGEST, BOUNCIEST SKA-ZINE IN THE UK TODAY! - "Hello!",
    said Brian, "Did you miss me?". It's one of the most poignant
    moments of `Magic Roundabout - The Movie`, otherwise known as
    `Dougal and the Blue Cat`.

7 - THE GHOST KNOWS THE MOST - MIS and TMML subscriber, Simon Roberts
    tells us that the recently uploaded `Velvet Ghost` website has
    already been updated twice since the first live appearance with
    many things that you just can't afford to miss.

8 - COME ON YOU LOT, COME ON - Thanks and closing words.

[1] - THE EDITOR WRITES

Evening Maddies!

Were you one of the many not able to catch The Velvet Ghost make his
first public appearance? Well, while we can't quite compensate for
that, the TMML's Mr. G has kindly put up a selection of pictures
taken during the performance and afterwards at the Dublin Castle
booze-up. Point your browser at: http://www.themagnificent7.net and
http://www.geocities.com/themagnificentseven.

Those of you who were too ill or just simply couldn't make it to the
Dublin Castle on the Saturday afternoon after the Dury concert
missed out on the handing over of the cheque detailing the final
amount the Madness and Ian Dury community managed to raise during
the auction and following after show party. Well, a large crowd did
turn up and one or two snaps were taken. Simply pop along to:
http://www.redrival.com/simesy/auction/cancerbacup.html
and take a look! Thanks go to Simsey for the info.

As reported in last weeks edition of the MIS, the re-re-release of
the classics singles album, Divine Madness had re-entered the UK
album charts at a fairly respectable (considering the album has
really been available since 1992!) #59. Paul Muscat of the TMML
reports that this week the album is a non-mover, preferring to sit
comfortably in the same #59 spot.

Some sport news now, and a suggestion has been bounced around the
Total Madness Mailing List this past week that maybe, just maybe
two teams of 5 comprising of Online Maddies could be formed
for a friendly 5-a-side tournament before the forthcoming Crunch!
gig. Interested? If so, please get in touch with the athletic Graham
Hewson on: dripfedgray at yahoo.co.uk or Mr. Paul (Charity) Scat on:
saint.scatty at virgin.net

Onto television, German television that is, and MIS subscriber,
Konrad Scherfer reports that;

     "German Television (WDR Rockpalast,
      http://www.rockpalast.de/termine.html) will
      show an Ian Dury-Concert at 2th of July
      between 1.15h and 6.15h (German time). It's
      called "In memoriam: Ian Dury & the Blockheads
      in the WDR-Studio". The concert was filmed at
      the 21. February 1978 in Cologne. The TV-station
      is 'WDR'".

You Maddies and Dury fans based in mainland Europe had better get
setting the video recorder eh?!

Many thanks to Konrad for the information.

News just in from Ska News editor Jean-Pierre Boutellier is that
the website has just undergone a major update with additions
to sections of the site including; Madness, The Skatalites,
Orange Street, Crunch, Johnny Clarke, Mister Gang, Mix Up, Velvet
Ghost, Mapuka, The Slackers, The Toasters, U-Roy, Dr Ring Ding,
Chris Prete, Leonard Dillon, Culture, Rude Boy System, Too Hot, The
Selecter, 2-Tone, Blood & Fire... All Ska and Reggae scene from the
sixties to now !

Check it out at: http://perso.club-internet.fr/skanews
Many thanks to Jean-Pierre for passing on details of the updates.

With the forthcoming Crunch gig not too far off now, here's the
almighty Lee Swandale, the online promoter with a few words of
wisdom;

     "The gig at the underworld on the 14th is still
      going ahead, and as you may already know the
      tickets are being sold as the Nutty boys.....
      (Thanks Martin)

      The band will be rehearsing in the next week or
      so to run through what will hopefully be the
      new set.

      I spoke to Lee after the show at Brixton (Note
      the Crunch stage costume, Talcum powder etc...)
      and he said it was good to be back and looking
      forward to getting back to his old tricks...

      Special thanks to Jerney who bidded highest for
      the two signed 12" singles at the Ian D Auction..

      Speak to you all soon,

      Swanny"

Thanks for that Lee. In the meantime, if you'd like to be kept up to
date with everything and anything relating to the world of Crunch,
please get in touch with Lee at the following address:
lee at crunch.uk.com

And with that, lets get underway with this week's collection of
articles.

Enjoy!

All the nutty best,

Robert Hazelby (MIS Online Editor)

[2] - WHEN IT COMES TO THE CRUNCH

I know a number of you picked up tickets for the forthcoming Crunch
gig during last Friday's Madmeet in Camden Town, but for those of you
still trying to get hold of a ticket or two your search can be made
that bit simpler.

The gig is on the evening of the 14 July at Camden's Underworld,
174 High St, Camden, NW1

Tickets are £8 plus a booking fee of £1.50 (plus 50p postage).

Tickets can be ordered via the Underworld Credit Card hotline on;
02074821932

or Stargreen Box Office on; 02077348932

You can also collect tickets in person from both of the above and
the Carnaby Street branch of Merc. If ordering over the phone and
you are told that they have no Crunch gig is down, ask them to look
for `The Nutty Boys` as the ticket offices have reportedly had
Crunch down as that.

Doors for the gig open at 7pm with two support bands' Spankboy, and
another who are yet to be confirmed. Crunch should be on stage
between 9:30 - 10:00

As The Dublin Castle will still be closed for some much needed
refurbishment on the date of the gig, people are already asking where
can the event meet-up be held. There has been no definite decision as
of yet, but a number of people have suggested `The Spreadeagle` which
can be found a few hundred yards down from the DC on the opposite
side of the road. Sounds like the perfect backup plan to me.

Thanks go to Mad'tin for some of the above.

[3] - RHYTHMSTOCK AWARDS

It seems to be part of a tradition which states that you can't have
a mailing list Madmeet without finishing things off with the
run-down of awards.

Not wanting to break with the rules and regulations Vince Carden is
here with his `Rhythmstock Awards`...

I have just found time to come out with some awards from our
great weekend:

 - Best performance: Carl doing 'What a waste'. Oooh,
   you've got such a husky voice Mr. Smyth!!

 - Worst performance: Mike Barson during 'Drip Fed
   Fred'

 - Lazy git: Suggs for yet again not making any effort
   to dress up for the gig. Wearing jeans with a suit
   jacket is as classy as a lada or skoda

 - Best Quote: Vince Foley - 'Just pay the bitch'

 - Best scoop: Talking to Lee and Mike in the pub only
   45 minutes before Lee was due on stage!!

 - Best afterthought: Let's have a Crunch! meet on
   July 14. Well...........

 - Diamond geezer: Scatty for providing us all with a
   great day

 - Dancefloor filler: 'You're Wonderful'. So good they
   played it again.

 - Lesson: Don't go to the five cuts barbers unless
   you hate yourself!!

 - Most appropriate song afterwards: No Money

 - Biggest lunatic: What was he drinking before he
   came back on stage

 - Biggest surprise: Kathy Burke for doing a rip -
   roaring version of 'Billericay Dickie'

Have I missed out on anything

Vince Carden (dripfedvin at yahoo.com)

[4] - CYBERNEWS FROM VIP

Here's more great cyber news from VIP Events.

ONLINE MUSIC AND FILM FAIR .
The only site of it's type, this new site is already receiving
hundreds of visitors a day. New stock is being added continually
and here are the traders that have just joined -

STEEL WHEELS. Includes Mint vinyl albums (indie/new wave/west coast,
              7" singles (mainly 70s), promos and acetates.

SECONDSOUNDS. Europe's number one online used CD store has joined
              vip-24.com! Everything like new except the prices!

OUT OF PAST RECORDS. 45s from 1948 to the present. The stock includes
                     hits, non hits and soul singles.

CHECK OUT THIS GREAT SITE. CLICK WWW.VIP-24.COM and enjoy this new
                           buying experience.

VISIT THESE SUPERB UK SHOWS THIS SUMMER -

LONDON INTERNATIONAL SUNDAYS 9 JULY & 20 AUGUST.
The UK's biggest and busiest Sunday fair returns with it's famous
summer shows. Includes traders from outside the UK plus all those
great UK dealers.
Venue - Congress Centre, Great Russell St. WC1. Tube station -
Tottenham Court Road.

BOURNEMOUTH PAVILION SUN 16 JULY.
The only GIANT fair on the south coast this summer. Special guest -
THE SHANIA TWAIN TRADITIONAL UK FAN CLUB.

LONDON CAMDEN. ELECTRIC BALLROOM, CAMDEN HIGH STREET, LONDON.
Saturdays 1st, 8th, 15th, July and 12th, 19th, and 26th August.
With twelve shops and lots of markets nearby, this is the BEST AREA
TO VISIT THIS SUMMER.

OTHER FAIRS.
1. Northampton Derngate, Sat 8 July and 26 August.
2. Walsall Town Hall, Sat 5 August.

DATES FOR YOUR DIARY
7/8 October - Birmingham Music fair.
The areas only big, two-day fair. Takes place just once a year.
25/26 November - Wembley Music Fair.
Europe's biggest and busiest show. A must for all dealers - book your
table now.

Musical Regards
Rob Lythall (vip-24.com)

[5] - MISSING BIDDERS

In all the speed and tension of the Ian Dury / Madness auction a few
weeks back the writing down of who paid for what seemed to go out the
window slightly. Mr. Auction himself - Simsey is keen to put up a
list of `who got what` on his website so you can all get the chance
to see who beat your bid(s).

Here's Simsey with the details...

Hi gang,

This is a strange request, really. During the auction, we didn't
bother to keep a record of how much people bid for which items. Can
everyone who successfully bid on items (or remembers who bid what for
which items) please drop me a mail off-list. We'd really like to be
able to put together a full list of how the money was made.

The list is 80% complete. Below I have itemised the missing winners
and bids. If you won any of the items, please let me know who you
are and how much you bid.

Contact me off-list at simesy at suggs.screaming.net

Missing winners and bids for the following:

1) Ian Dury documentary and Suggs This Is Your Life videos
2) Madness in Sheffield, Electric Ballroom and Orange Street
   documentary cassettes
3) Divine Madness scorebook and TJAD picture disc
4) Madness stickers and badges
5) Box-set of Weller singles
6) Ian Dury 12", CD promo and picture
7) 21st Anniversary Blockheads card
8) Set of signed Madness CDs
9) Signed Keep Moving CDs
10) Full set of Zarjazz white label promos
11) Full set of Zarjazz releases

Stay Mad  8-)
Simesy

ICQ - 50212254

[6] - THE BIGGEST, BOUNCIEST SKA-ZINE IN THE UK TODAY!

It's been a long time in coming, but issue 6 of Ian Taylor's
excellent `Mad Not Mad` fanzine has finally arrived. Before we give
you the lowdown on the Spring/Summer 2000 edition, here's Ian with a
few of his own words.

"Hello!", said Brian, "Did you miss me?". It's one of the most
poignant moments of `Magic Roundabout - The Movie`, otherwise known
as `Dougal and the Blue Cat`. You see, this Blue Cat had appeared
in the Magic Garden and started to take over, gradually turning
everything blue. Dougal and his chums rebelled and attacked the Blue
Cat in his lair - an old factory. In the bizarre finale - a mix
between kids TV and `Die Hard`, the factory blows up but Brian the
Snail is still inside! Not a dry eye in the house, I'm telling you.
Even the irascible Dougal sheds a tear and then suddenly, just when
you think all is lost ... "Hello!", said Brian, "Did you miss me?".

All of which is a roundabout way for me to say, yes I'm back and yes,
I disappeared off the face of the earth for some 6 months. Did you
miss Mad Not Mad? I certainly did but it just wasn't happening. You
see, following a rocking New Year I had to hurl myself into the
books and convince the academic world that I really was suitable
material for the teaching profession. The good news is that it looks
like I cracked it and maybe, over the next thirty years, I might be
able to make some sort of difference to kids who deserve a break.
Not that this should interest any of you lot, of course. You
subscribe to a fanzine and you expect to get it. All I can do is say
sorry and hope that you appreciate how important the time off was to
me. In addition to which, I then broke my ankle, didn't I? I know, I
know - that should have left me with loads of spare time to type up
this issue but, believe me, when it takes maximum effort to just
move from one room to another, all you want to do is crash out and
sulk.

Anyway, the old ankle is now back in working order and I'm back at
the old PC, typing myself into a creative frenzy and almost crying
at the sight of piles of stuff that has grown and grown whilst I have
been out of action. There's lots been happening and I'm going to try
and cram as much of it into this issue as possible. What's not in
this one will surface in Number 7.

Thanks for that Ian.

Onto the review now, and as with previous editions of MNM, number 7
is positively bursting at the seams with all the latest news from
Madness and the ska scene in general.

Us Madness fans are really well catered for this quarter with a full
transcription of Jools Holland's radio show in which Suggs made a
guest appearance earlier this year to talk about the new Madness
album, their collaboration with Ian Dury and the ska-scene in
general. For those of you like myself who missed this when it was
originally aired, this is essential reading.

Flicking further through the pages and Ian treats us all to a blow
by blow review of `The Maddest Show on Earth` from the Manchester
Evening News Arena, whilst Jermaine Mossell has been drafted in and
provides us with reviews of two other shows from the tour as taken
from his on-going cataloging of Madness live appearances which seems
to grow almost every month.

Onto `Zine Machine` where amongst the Ska-related fanzines, the
legendary `Nut Inc` from Stuart Wright gets the once-over with
Ian coming to the conclusion that `You really should get into this
zine`. I have to say that I whole heartedly agree.

Staying in the fanzine section and the ever-popular `Madness
Unsugged` from a certain Vince Carden also gets the review treatment
from our Ian, which gets the thumbs up. Like Nut Inc, you really
should treat yourself, friends, family and anyone you know to a
`Madness Unsugged` subscription.

Onto the general ska scene now and the Big E looks at a European
label who are well justified in their claim to represent the spirit
of ska. In `The Written Word` there are reviews of `A Clockwork
Orange` and `Saturday's Heros', and if money is burning a hole in
your pocket, Ian checks out the latest and greatest album releases
in `They Call me Mr. Review` which covers an absolute avalanche of
musical gems ranging from Ian Dury and Kilburn & The High Roads, to
The Parka Kings and Judge Dread. Oh, and our boys Madness also make
an appearance.

60's style ska/reggae/rocksteady band, Intensified have recently
released their second studio album, `Faceman Sound` and Mr. "on the
ball" Taylor is here with a review to accompany the new CD.

Onto the gig reviews now, and Ian gives us a blow-by-blow account of
Paul Weller's appearance at Preston Guild Hall, and for you ska fans
Ian has knocked up a review of a Bad Manners and Grimace concert from
way back in the cold and dreary days of December.

And if you've got the urge to see some of these bands live, then the
comprehensive gig section is just for you, covering appearances for
a whole host of bands over the coming months.

Not bad for 2 quid, eh?!

For more information, please write to:

     Nutty Towers,
     c/o 4 Mountmorres Close,
     Over Hulton,
     Greater Manchester,
     Bolton,
     BL5 1HT

or you can e-mail Ian at: bige at supanet.co.uk

Subscription prices are 7 pounds for four issues or 2 pounds per
issue.

Go on, treat yourself!

Robert Hazelby

[7] - THE GHOST KNOWS THE MOST

Hiya folks,

Nothing has been mentioned about this on the Total Madness Mailing
List yet, but the ghost still walks amongst us at:
www.velvetghost.com

The website, run by the Ghost himself and Adele Hargreaves, has been
updated twice since the inaugural gig of the legend that is to be
'The Velvet Ghost'

There are new pictures from that sunny day in Finsbury park, plus
words from the Velvet Ghost himself, Cathal Smyth including big
hello's to all those made it from near and far - a real tribute.

There is also news on the forthcoming Velvet Ghost album.

Also, if you enter the 'league' of the Ghost you are automatically
put on the Velvet Ghost mailing list letter where you can ask the
ghost questions and he'll reply in the monthly newsletter!

The ghost lurks on the guestbook, so be careful what you say! A
friend of mine signed it something like 'Madness RIP' - The ghost
contacted my friend, he was ecstatic!! - fyi: Madness aint dead!!!!

Whilst you're on the site, make sure you pop along to the lyrics
department and take a look at the 'real' version of 'Johnny the
Horse' - (a real treat for those who heard it live!! and for the
seasoned Madness stalwarts, the lyrics to 'The Alligator Song',
known to many as 'Alligator with a Stanley knife'. You'll also find
that the words to 'Light of the way' are up!!

Anyway, check out the pictures as there's lots of behind the scenes
stuff. It's a great website.

The site is updated often, (more than some official sites I know! ;)
so keep your eye on it!

I cant wait for the audio samples!

cheers,

Simon Roberts (simon at madness.airtime.co.uk)

[8] - COME ON YOU LOT, COME ON

Thanks to all who provided material for inclusion in this edition of
the MIS. Your assistance as always has been really appreciated.

Although this edition of the MIS has just been released, I'm already
trying to decide what will go in the next. Expect to see an article
from the current edition of `Madness Unsugged` which Vince Carden,
the editor has asked if I'd be so kind to put it. I was planning to
put it in this issue, but with everything else that arrived in my
mailbox I've decided to hold onto it until next week.

Well, just before we go, Simsey reports that he has received a
thank you message from CancerBACUP for all the effort he and
everyone else has put in for the charity over the past few months.
This total does not include outstanding monies which are winging
their way to him at the moment. To view the message, follow the link
below:

http://greetings.yahoo.com/greet/view?37IWTWMAH3B2MXX

And finally, for all you history buffs out there, Simon Roberts
reports that this week, Camden Town Tube Station celebrated its 97th
birthday. Now, if only they'd give it re-furbishment as a birthday
present!!

Until next week.

All the nutty best,

Robert Hazelby