IN THIS ISSUE ...

1 - THE EDITOR SPEAKS - Latest news in brief.

2 - TWO MONTHS OF TOURING - Thanks to the ever-helpful Claire Keegan,
    we've now got the line-up of gigs for the excellent `Complete
    Madness` covering the next two months. Now you've got almost no
    excuse for not popping along.

3 - McMADMEET 2 - THE REVENGE! - Following the success of the
    original McMadmeet some months back a second meet started to be
    organised almost as soon as the first was over. Yet again all
    present got completely plastered, and yet again, the police
    were involved. I don't remember this much trouble being caused
    during the Camden meets ;-)

4 - MAD NOT MAD, IT'S ALMOST HERE! - Mad Not Mad subscribers eagerly
    awaiting the next issue of Ian Taylor's excellent fanzine can
    relax, safe in the knowledge that your wait is almost over.

5 - VIP EVENTS FORTHCOMING RECORD FAIRS - We know how much you all
    like rummaging through piles and piles of records in the hope
    that you'll stumble across something rare or that you've been
    after for ages.

6 - NAIL DOWN THE DAYS - Thanks and closing words.

[1] - THE EDITOR SPEAKS

Hello Maddies,

Hope everyone has enjoyed the traditional Easter break which seems
to vary in length depending on what country you're in!

News has yet again been thin on the ground, but there's no need to
panic at the moment. I'm hoping, as I am sure you all are that
things will pick up soon.

In the meantime, lets get this edition of the MIS underway with a
short snippet from Chris Carter-Pegg;

     "Madness were the highest climbers in Record
      Collector magazine's annual poll of the most
      collectable recording artists, voted for by
      the readers. They rose from a position of
      No. 212 to No. 73. Admittedly whilst this
      still doesn't sound particularly high (i.e.
      they ought to be in the Top 20 in my opinion!),
      in comparison to other notable bands it is a
      very good placing. Blur for instance have fallen
      this year from No. 64 down to No. 130".

Many thanks to Chris the info.

All you kind people out there who logged on to the Cancer Bacup web
site to make a donation will, if you've not already, find something
coming through your door. A week or so back I received a card from
the charity, thanking me for my donation in remembrance of Ian
Dury.

It doesn't matter how small your donation is. The charity can do with
all the help it can get. If you have yet to make a donation but would
like to. Point your browser to the following sites;

http://www.cancerbacup.org.uk (for UK Maddies)
or;
http://www.cancerbacup.com (for US based Maddies)

Remember, every little helps.

Onto this week's edition of the MIS now and although I've been
moaning about the lack of Madness news and gossip currently
doing the rounds, there's more than enough info here to keep you
going for the next seven days.

Thanks to Claire Keegan, we have the latest gig list for Madness
tribute band, `Complete Madness`, whilst further on you can find
a blow by blow (quite literally at one point!) of the weekend's
proceedings from the near-legendary `McMadmeet 2`.

A recent E-mail from `Mad Not Mad` editor, Ian Taylor brought me bang
up to date with the progress of the forthcoming issue. Rather than
keep the news to ourselves, Ian has given the all clear to let
everyone know why the next issue has been delayed a little. Do not
fret, it will be released shortly!

And finally, I know how many of you out there love going along to
record fairs in the hope of tracking down some Madness rarity for
a bargain price. Well, thanks to the assistance of Rob Lythall at
VIP Events we've got the lowdown of all the major record fairs
taking place over the next few months.

So with that, lets get the show on the road!

All the best,

Robert Hazelby (MIS Online Editor)

[2] - TWO MONTHS OF TOURING

Thanks to Claire Keegan for passing on these tour dates for top
Madness tribute band, `Complete Madness`. You've now got even more
opportunity and notice to grab your slice of live Madness over the
next couple of months.

MAY
1st - Theatre Royal, Barnsley : Noon & Night
3rd - Chicago Rock Cafe, Worcester
4th - Chicago Rock Cafe, Harlow
6th - Doorman's Athletic, Middlesborough
7th - Nite Owl, Barnsley
10th - Chicago Rock Cafe, Hanley
12th - The Centre Spot, Lincoln City Football Club
13th - Bolton Club, Rotherham
14th - Seacroft WMC, Leeds
17th - Chicago Rock Cafe, Chelmsford
18th - Chicago Rock Cafe, Southampton
19th - Scraptoft Valley Club, Leicester
20th - Loftus Social, Nr Whitby
21st - Pharaohs, Barnsley
24th - Chicago Rock Cafe, Northampton
25th - Litten Tree Pub, High Wycombe
26th - The Willows, Salford Rugby Club
27th - Littlesea Holiday Park, Weymouth
28th - Skellow Grange WMC, Doncaster
31st - Chicago Rock Cafe, Barnstable

JUNE
1st - Theatre Royal, Barnsley
2nd - Goose Green Labour Club, Wigan
3rd - T T Races, Isle of Man
7th - Jumping Jacks, Leeds
8th - Brannigans, Sheffield
9th - The Sands, Weston-Super-Mere
11th - Ian Dury : Cancer Research Benefit Gig, Camden Town (TBC)
14th - Jumping Jacks, Lincoln
15th - Level 42, Workington
17th - Weymouth Bay Holiday Park
22nd - Litten Tree, Bedford
24th - Maid Marion Club, Nr Skegness
25th - Rowland Road WMC, Leeds
28th - Jumping Jacks, Southampton
29th - Jumping Jacks, Bournemouth
30th - Barnsley Hospital Social

For up to the minute tour and gig information, please get in touch
with the band at the following address:
Complete at madness2000.fsbusiness.co.uk

[3] - McMADMEET 2 - THE REVENGE!

Hiya all,

Well, I've just about recovered from the 1st day of `McMadmeet 2` and
what a day it was!

Here's my review...

Met Mr. G at his local rail station, and found he was still suffering
from an impromptu sesh with Wee Stoo the previous night. Grabbed a
Burger King and went to his to drop off my bag, a quick beer and then
jumped in a taxi to Glasgow Central.

Arrived in Ghille Brown's Bar at about 3.30pm to find Wee Stoo
waiting. Soon after came Peter Gardner, then Cheryl Hagger, and that
was it for the first couple of hours, then after a few drinks John
"netiquette" McEvoy and his mate Neil arrived. Quick intros, another
drink and we moved to the next pub, `Underworld` where plenty drink
was taken and talk and stories of all things MAD ensued. Also, the
cameras started flashing.

At about 7pm we moved on to O'Henry's as planned - Live football and
more drink (which was really beginning to have effect now !!!). Then
there were some late arrivals; Iain Mason (straight from work !) and
Steve & Lara (and Lara's family !!!) Intros all round & more photos
(cannae wait to see them !)

Steve & Lara had brought Wee Stoo's "Vote For Fred" placard up from
London with them, (signed by Mr Smash at the VFF campaign in London!)
but Stoo didn't fancy carrying it about with him so we tried "left
luggage" at Central Station but to no avail - so he ended up getting
a taxi back to Mr. G's house with it!

When he arrived back we moved on to O'Neills Bar, at the same time,
John & Neil decided to head off. (thanks for making the effort lads!)
Now that was brilliant in there. The drink was in full effect now, so
you can imagine.......singing, dancing (or in Peter's case - bouncing
off walls - he he). Those photo's should be brilliant. I have a vague
recollection of singing (& dancing to) "New York, New York" with
Steve ????

The night was wearing on and some of us decided to go downstairs to
a night club (me, Stoo, Mr. G, Iain, Peter & Cheryl). It was quite a
good club and we were all enjoying ourselves dancing, singing,
laughing. Then a strange thing happened  - I was dancing at the edge
of the floor with the others and suddenly this guy appeared and said
something to me (which I don't re-call), to which I answered "Don't
worry about me mate, I'm just having a laugh", and started to walk
away. The next thing I knew I was on my knees - he had hit me - he
was soon thrown out, but to be honest it put the dampers on what had
been a brilliant day for me. I got cleaned up and soon decided it
was probably time to go. When I got to the door, the guy who hit me
was standing at the door, the doorman asked me if I wanted him
charged and I said, "well why not". I mean, here I was having a
great day, when a numpty like him appears and spoils it. So the
police were called. While waiting for them to arrive, the drink had
finally taken it's toll on Peter and he was being escorted out for
falling asleep !!!

The police arrived and took statements and guess what? - not enough
evidence! Good old Scottish Law eh?!  Iain Mason acted as "peace
keeper" in the discussions that followed (thanks for that mate) and
eventually persuaded us into a taxi. We said our goodbyes to him,
then dropped Cheryl off at her B&B then to the nearest Kebab shop
to MR G's house !

We got back to Mr G's house at about 3 am - after a mammoth 12 hour
shift !!!

We were all worse for wear - but we survived it. SLEEP ZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

In the morning we eventually surfaced about 10 am. Peter, Stoo (with
VFF placard) and I said our goodbyes to Mr. G (thanks yet again for
your hospitality mate !) and jumped on a bus home......Mr. G & Stoo
only had a few hours to recover before doing it all again......

Best of luck lads !!!

Well there you go.......McMadmeet 2, another great day, spent in
great company.....to those who were there, thanks a million, to those
who weren't - ye missed a cracking day !

Cheers the noo,

Rob W

Wee Stoo now takes up the story...

Not long after getting home, it was time to go back out again for day
two.

Lauders was the meeting point, and I turn up late to see Cheryl,
Colin and His Royal Highness, The Right Dishonourable Craig Cameron.

Naturally, the tone of conversation lowered considerably from the last
night; MrG got off to a slow start with his pints. But eventually he
managed them and we went off to the exclusively smart Candy Bar,
where after a few drinks I began to feel the last two nights come
back to haunt me. Still, we soldiered on, and a feast of a burger
later, mine with cheese. Colin found it hard to munch his burger
though, as it was decidedly bigger and of higher quality to the ones
he's sampled before.

Mr.G does have friends in high places, and Candy Bar was no
exception. The owner came over, "Alright BigChap? Heres some shots
for you all"  And not only that, but "Shall I put some Madness on for
you?" And so in the highest class bar in all of Glasgow belts out
`Baggy Trousers` - and a few of the other punters begin dancing.
Class!

Candy Bar not only had fantastically tasty beef to sink your teeth
into, but they served really good food too. Plus it was an extremely
aesthetically pleasing bar.

Outside, on the way to the 13thNote I began to liven up - the fresh
air sparking life into my weary body. Once we get there, I nip up
the road to George Square to meet Steve and Lara to walk them down
to King Street to the 13th note. Then in arrives Iain 'threads'
Mason, minus his other half, who took a funny turn when she heard
that he was meeting his Madness gang...Is Colins mug really that
haunting?! And then in arrived the delectable Ms.Galbraith, Mr.G's
younger, enchanting sister, turning all the male heads with the
greatest of ease. "Is that Elle McPherson?" I heard one chap enquire.

As the night drew on, Craig and I discussed whether the lassie that
Colin seemed to be getting close to did indeed swing that way, A few
more 'Bennets' jokes were thrown in for good measure too!

Time for the last bus, which in itself would prove eventful to say
the least. So I bid my emotional farewells to the crowd as they
prepared to go on to the club, and I headed out into the dark.

I don't mind much about the walk to the bus stop, except that once I
got there, there was an outrageously violent fight at the other
stance. By the time the bus came I had sobered up, and could
probably have walked the immense distance home too.

A very normal bus ride home it was too...if you consider a mad old
real life Mrs.Sloecombe with her..cat..on the bus at midnight
normal. But the best bit came just outside Renfrew. Sitting at the
back, I could only make out folk at the front laughing and a woman's
voice slightly raised. I could see her going to the driver speaking
to him and addressing those at the front of the bus. Then the bus
stopped at Robertson Park (Just opposite Renfrew police station.)
And off she got, leaving the cat at the front of the bus. Shouts of
'Kick the cat off driver' were heard, but she got back on and shouted
that she wanted names and addresses of passengers. One woman refused
indignantly, and Mrs Sloecombe fumed, claiming she had been subject
to slander on this bus, being accused of being drunk or on drugs.
Then she turned on the driver, demanding his number. Having had
quite enough of that, and with a number of passengers shouting
remarks such as ''f off", "I want to go up the road you old tart",
"get aff the bus missus" he put the boot down and started to drive
off. She yelled to stop the bus, and shouted that she'd identify the
woman to the police and that her mother would sue.

The whole bus was in tears with laughter, and jeers rang out as she
finally buggered off the bus. Probably the funniest thing I've ever
seen on a bus.

And so ended my McMadmeet 2 day two!

McMadmeet 2 Awards!

Most pished:           Our co-mod, Dr.Peter T Gardner

Quote of McMadmeet 2 : "You have 5 seconds to disappear before I
                        arrest you."  PC plod outside O'Niells
                        Music Room

                        "Can I have that in writing?", Peter, on being
                         ejected from the music room for being pished
                         and sleeping.

Best Dressed:           Iain Mason, naturally.

Special Award:          'Verve' powder. Ask Rob!

And the McMadmeet 2 Baton Award, given to pubs with the highest
quality of 'staff' goes to: The Barmaids of The Candy Bar.

And so concludes McMadmeet 2! Phew! ;-)

Stoo

[4] - MAD NOT MAD, IT'S ALMOST HERE!

Mad Not Mad subscribers eagerly awaiting the next issue of Ian
Taylor's excellent fanzine can relax, safe in the knowledge that
your wait is almost over.

In between telling me that I'm a `whinging sod` (in the nicest
possible way of course!), Ian informs me that he's broken his
ankle;

     "I know that should mean that I had plenty
      of time for typing but to be honest I was
      so pissed off that I've not done much".

Not only that, but just as Ian has recovered enough to get back to
work on the `zine, his printer decides to die. By the time you read
this, Ian assures me that it will be back up and running and MNM
should be landing on your door mat sometime in May.

The May edition of MNM includes;

- a tribute to Ian Dury
- Coverage of the December gig in Manchester including the Madmeet
  karaoke
- an autopsy (and that is exactly the right word) of 'Drip Fed Fred'
- a feature on 'Madness 7'

As well as the above, you can be sure that the forthcoming edition
will be full to bursting with all the latest news and information
from the UK ska scene. You'd be mad to miss it!

Ian asks that I mentioned the price for MNM has now changed. Future
editions of MNM will retail for £2.00 whilst a year's subscription
will set you back a mere £6.00.

And finally, our congratulations go out to Ian who has just landed
his first official teaching contract. Well done mate!

[5] - VIP EVENTS FORTHCOMING RECORD FAIRS

We know how much you all like rummaging through piles and piles of
records in the hope that you'll stumble across something rare or
that you've been after for ages.

Well, thanks to Rob Lythall at VIP Events, here's the latest batch
of record fairs appearing up and down the UK over the next couple
of months.

LONDON INTERNATIONAL MUSIC FAIR - SUN 14 MAY.
Venue - Congress Hall, Great Russell Street, WC1. Off Tottenham
Court Rd.

The best one-day fair in London. A massive event taking place in
3 Halls.

GLASGOW MUSIC FAIR - 27 & 28 MAY.
This established show takes place at the Scottish Exhibition and
Conference Centre, it is the biggest fair in Northern Britain. In
the hall next door will be a special sale of the vinyl library of
RADIO CLYDE. Every LP is £1. Email us for more details.

GIANT MIDLANDS WEEKENDER.
Birmingham (National Indoor Arena) - 3 June
Leicester (Aylestone Leisure Centre) - 4 June.
This great weekender takes place in the Midlands just once a year
- approx 500 stands with different dealers each day.

ONLINE MUSIC & FILM FAIR - NEW LAUNCH DATE.
VIP-24.COM, the launch of the world's only online Music & Film Fair
has moved from 30 April to 10 May. We have had a great response from
traders and will be using the next few weeks to build the stands and
introduce traders to the system.

MORE INFORMATION.
Please email info at vip-24.com

[6] - NAIL DOWN THE DAYS

That about wraps everything up for another week. I'm hoping that next
week will be a bit livelier than the last few and we'll have more
news to report. As the weather has been so good this weekend I've
spent most of it outside (or in the pub) and as such have only just
downloaded my mail. For some strange reason the online Madness
community seem to have burst back into life once more as the TMML
postings for the last couple of days seem to be back to normal once
more. I'm hoping things stay that way, meaning you'll have a more
meatier MIS to look forward to.

In the meantime, thank you to everyone who provided bits and pieces
for this issue, and if you have anything that we could include in
next week's edition, please do get in touch.

Until next week.

All the nutty best,

Robert Hazelby