IN THIS ISSUE ...

1 - THE EDITOR WRITES - Latest news and information in brief

2 - HAVE A DRINK ON ME... - I know that a large number of MIS 
    subscribers are subscribed to the Total Madness Mailing List, 
    but there are also a great many of you who are not, and as 
    that is the case, you would have missed a few words from the 
    almighty Cathal Smyth.

3 - IT'S POLL TIME - As the year draws to a close, TMML subscriber,
    Andrew Langmead has decided that now is the time for a poll to
    decide your favourite Madness songs for 2000/2001.

4 - CHRISSY BOY'S AND THOMMOS CLOSET - During their recent hectic 
    schedule, pop legends Chris Foreman and Lee Thompson have managed
    to find time to answer a few questions that a number of you have 
    sent in to the Crunch website.

5 - NUTTY GEAR - Earlier this week MIS subscriber Lee Evans sent me 
    an e-mail, informing me that he'd just uploaded a brand new 
    website.  A new Madness website is always something worth 
    visiting, but instead of the usual content found on most of the 
    fan sites, Lee decided to take a different approach.

6 - WE'RE NOW IN ENGLISH! - Some interesting news now for all of you
    who learnt French at school but have since forgotten almost 
    everything you were taught. 

7 - A ZARJAZZ COMPETITION - If you'd like to read the entire comic 
    strips that the fink brothers record is based, on or hear the 
    Fink Brothers Record, well here is your chance. The following 
    four prizes are up for grabs. Jonathan Young is here with the
    details.

8 - SITTING, BY THE FIRE - Thanks and closing words.

[1] - THE EDITOR WRITES

Evening all,

I hope stress of Christmas fast approaching isn't getting to you all.
It'll soon be over!

Following last week where we had a shortage of news to relay, this
week seems to have been quite the opposite, with lots of Madness
related bits and pieces happening on and off the internet.

MIS Online subscriber, Mike Jackson reports that on the new Eminem
album there is a track called "Our House". If you listen to this 
song, don't be surprised to hear a sample from the Madness song of
the same name. The track can be found on Napster by typing in "Our
House". Obviously you would have to own the song anyway before the
thought of downloading it would even enter your mind. Many thanks go
to Mike for passing on this snippet. Thanks also go to Simmo for
passing on similar related info.

Following on from his recent bout of voice-overs for Fairy Liquid
adverts, the legendary Suggs returns to advertising in the all-new
Worthingtons beer ad. Chris Mountain tells us that the Madness front
man is there for all to see selling ice creams and pints. I've not
managed to clap eyes on the advert myself, but I am reliably 
informed by a certain Wozza, that I have to see it. Many thanks to
Chris and Wozza for keeping the rest of us updated.

After a well-earned break, it looks like the BBC's resident Madness
fan is back in the driving seat once more. The ever-helpful Simsey
informs us that on the BBC's consumer affairs programme, Watchdog on
Thursday there was an article about the appauling state of the 
railways. The background music used was none other than the 1986 hit
(Waiting for) The Ghost Train. Thanks for that one Simon!

Following Chris Mountains news regarding the Suggs appearance in the
latest run of Worthingtons adverts, he returns with details 
regarding a major 2-Tone reunion gig. This takes place at Highfield
Stadium, Coventry. The stadium belongs to Coventry Football Club. The
bands featured will be The Specials, The Beat and The Selecter. This
sounds like a gig well worth getting yourselves along to. Many thanks
to Chris for the details.

Right, there's a fair bit to get through this issue, so without 
further ado, lets get straight on with this weeks collection of 
articles.

Enjoy the read,

Robert Hazelby (MIS Online Editor)

[2] - HAVE A DRINK ON ME...

I know that a large number of MIS subscribers are subscribed to the
Total Madness Mailing List, but there are also a great many of you
who are not, and as that is the case, you would have missed a few
words from the almighty Cathal Smyth. Obviously, we can't have you
missing out on that, so I have reproduced Cathal's mail to the list
below...

A large hello to all on the list....I hope everyone is preparing for 
the festive season and getting ready for a good old seasonal jolly 
up! Have a drink on me and put it down to the company.

Now, as you are all aware there is no activity in the Madness camp as
regards touring or music or TV. In fact there is nothing planned for 
the immediate future, and whilst that saddens me, there is nothing 
that I can do about it. It is up to other members of the band whether
we work or not, and until they make a decision as to where the good 
ship Madness is heading then I am afraid it will be in the dry dock 
undergoing serious structural repairs.

So all I can say is that whilst it is an almost impossible task to 
fill the vacuum left behind by Madness through our inactivity. It in
no way stops me from unleashing the part of me that is fulfilled by 
Madness, and the dumping ground for all that enthusiasm will be my 
site at Chas Smash.com. I am at the moment working on getting music 
up onto the site and I have just begun a project which I will inform
you of shortly......so keep em peeled.

On another note :Today (1st Dec) by the way is Adele's [Hargreaves] 
Birthday, so if any of you wish to send her greetings then please do.
Adele has been invaluable in getting the Smash site up and running 
and all I can say is she is one hell of a torpedo......

OK thats all from me. Have a wonderful Christmas.. Oh and one more 
thing ... do not despair......what is created...exists......some may
try and destroy it but will fail...I have seen the future...and the 
future see's Madness doing what it does best...spreading joy!

God Bless you all and Keep you safe

Mr. Chas Smash.

[3] - IT'S POLL TIME

As the year draws to a close, TMML subscriber, Andrew Langmead has 
decided that now is the time for a poll to decide your favourite 
Madness songs for 2000/2001. 

As with all polls, elections and the like, there are a number of
rules, regulations and details.

Here's Andrew with them..

If you do want to take part, then please email me OFFLIST at:
andrew at alangmea.freeserve.co.uk (with 'Top 10' in the subject line) 
with your all time favourite top ten Madness songs. Please number 
them from 1 to 10 (with 1 being your favourite!). I will give you all
until Christmas to submit your lists, although it will probably the 
new year before I get a chance to send out the results!

There are a few things to note if you are planning to submit a Top 
Ten...

1. A Top Ten means just that, ten songs please, no joint 
   No. 1's. If the songs are not numbered, I will assume
   that the first song listed is No. 1, etc.

2. This is an all time MADNESS chart. Please don't include
   any Crunch/Nutty Boys, Suggs solo, Velvet Ghost, Voice 
   of the Beehive or Feargal Sharkey songs!

3. If you are a resident of the state of Florida, please 
   don't complain that you meant to vote for House of Fun
   when you actually voted for Our House. It's not that 
   hard to tell the difference.

4. Having said that, ALL votes WILL be counted. If Disappear
   ends up as all time No. 1, then you'll know that the count
   was just about as fair as the count in Florida!

5. Members of Madness are eligible to vote. (Hint, hint!)

6. Members of Westlife are NOT eligible to vote.

7. Votes for The Sweetest Girl will not count. Votes for 
   Disappear will count double.

8. Songs will receive 10 points for No. 1 through to 1 point
   for No. 10. Ties will be decided by the amount of No. 1 
   votes.

9. Rule No. 7 was a joke.

10. Rule No. 3 wasn't.

I look forward to receiving all those entries. It's been a long 
time since we did it before, and there are hundreds of new members
on the list. There's plenty of time to think about it, so there's 
no excuse for submitting a top ten!

Goodnight.

Andrew Langmead

[4] - CHRISSY BOY'S AND THOMMO'S CLOSET 

During their recent hectic schedule, pop legends Chris Foreman and
Lee Thompson have managed to find time to answer a few questions that
a number of you have sent in.

A certain Mr. T asks if there's anything he can do behind the scenes
to give something back to the band. Whilst a very daring Graham H 
decides to touch on the delicate subject of Chrissy Boy's hat.

The answers to these questions and more are now available for viewing
at the Official Crunch website, maintained by Lee Swandale. Simply 
point your web browser to: www.crunchuk.com, or go straight to the
closet by clicking to: http://www.crunch.uk.com/Closet.htm.

Lee Swandale tells me that Lee and Chris will answer and Crunch! and
reasonable Madness related questions. 

Send you questions to closet at crunch.uk.com

Many thanks to Mr. Swandale for the information - much appreciated!

[5] - NUTTY GEAR

Earlier this week MIS subscriber Lee Evans sent me an e-mail, 
informing me that he'd just uploaded a brand new website.  A new
Madness website is always something worth visiting, but instead of
the usual content found on most of the fan sites, Lee decided to take
a different approach.

Here's Lee to tell you a bit more...

Nutty Gear is a website which enables Madness and Ska fans across the
globe to buy, sell and swap records, cd's and just about anything to do
with Ska.

Maybe you'll find that One Step Beyond LP you've been trying to find
for donkey's years or maybe you'll be able to swap that official Bad
Manner's thong that you can't fit into anymore for a Japanese import of
Wonderful (very doubtful!!!!). 

To place an item on the website, e-mail me a description of the item
including the condition it is in, along with the price that you
want for it and details of any item/s that you would be willing to
consider swapping for (you don't have to swap!)

A picture of the item is appreciated, but don't worry too much if you
don't have one.  All items should must be of a reasonable state ie. no
flogging chewed up tapes and totally scratched records please. 

All items traded are at the trading parties own risk and are not the
responsibility of Nutty Gear.

Lee.

http://www.geocities.com/monsieur_kix
monsieur_kix at mymail.tm

[6] - WE'RE NOW IN ENGLISH!

Some interesting news now for all of you who learnt French at school
but have since forgotten almost everything you were taught..

Skanews website and fanzine editor Jean-Pierre Boutellier has been in
touch with me to say that he has just opened a website for all 
English speaking ska, reggae and Madness fans.

Simply click to: http://skanews.net

On the website you will find news, tour dates, rare pictures and
interviews. Here are just a few of the interviews currently online at
the Skanews website;

TOP CATS
    - Interview November 2000

THE KINGPINS
    - Interview November 2000

S. SHAFER (7 Wonders Of The World)
    - Interview November 2000

VELVET GHOST : Carl Smyth's brand new band (Madness)
    - interview July 06th 2000

CHRIS FOREMAN (Madness / Nutty Boys-Crunch)
    - interview, February 1994
    - interview, November 1994

HEPCAT
    - interview July 26th 2000

HOTKNIVES
    - interview 1996

TOO HOT
    - interview June 9th 2000

If you would like to send material in to Skanews, or you have some
information you feel may be of interest to their readership, please
contact Jean-Pierre at: skanews at club-internet.fr

[7] - A ZARJAZZ COMPETITION

If you'd like to read the entire comic strips that the fink brothers 
record is based, on or hear the Fink Brothers Record, well here is 
your chance. The following four prizes are up for grabs.

1. A copy of the Fink Brothers record on 7", and 2000AD Prog 403 
   (the issue the record was launched in, it has the same cover.)

2. A copy of Judge Dredd the Mega History, plus a Dredd Graphic novel

3. 2000ad prog 193-196 Featuring "The Fink", Plus some extra Progs

4. 2000ad Prog 280-288 Featuring "Destinys Angels"

COMPETITION OPEN TO EVERYONE AND CLOSES 10TH DECEMBER 2000.

Email the answers to the following questions to Jonsmad at hotmail.com

1. Which two members of Madness comprise the Fink Brothers?
2. What is the name used in 2000ad to refer to the Fink Brothers 
   family?

Email your answers, and include your name and either a postal address
or an email address that you won't change between now and the closing
date. State which prize you would like and I will try and accommodate 
this. Entries will be drawn from the Fink's pet rat's bowler hat on 
December the 11th 2000ad. Winners will be contacted by email.

Best of luck,

Jon 

If you're unsure of the answers check out the site at:

www.2000mad.20m.com

It Also has rare pictures of  Madness as the Fink Brothers and an 
interview with these mad mutants from 1985.  See pictures of 2000AD 
Prog 403 which Madness appear in, a character named after Suggs! 
Finally read extracts from some of the actual Judge Dredd strips 
read by Suggs and Carl that gave them the idea to write this single
and call themselves FINK.

Jonathan Young

[8] - SITTING, BY THE FIRE

That about wraps it up for another week.

My thanks go to everyone who's name appears in this issue of the MIS,
but especially Lee Swandale, Jonathan Young, Jean-Pierre Boutellier,
Lee Evans, Mike Jackson and Simmo for sending me bits and pieces
directly to my mailbox - much appreciated!!

If you have anything you feel would make worthy reading material for
a future edition of the MIS, please send it to me and I'll be sure to
include it in the subsequent issue.

Should you find yourselves with a spare 5 or 10 minutes this week,
please use that time to enter Andrew Langmead's latest poll, or check
our Jonathan Young's website where you can obtain the clues needed to
win the quiz he's kindly set up.

Until next week, take care, and try not to get too stressed out with
that Christmas present shopping!

All the nutty best,

Robert Hazelby